Who Is Mamu Miyan?

Who is Mamu Miyan?

There are all kinds of people in this world. Some learn from their own mistakes, while others—well, let’s just say they only realize a mistake has been made after it’s already happened. Our uncle "Mamu Miyan" falls into the latter category.

Dealing with Mamu Miyan’s personality requires a great deal of patience. He believes he has a solution for every problem in the world—though, quite often, his "solutions" only end up making the problems even more complicated!

As for his age, that’s easy to determine: he claims he is still in the prime of his youth—though his physical reactions might suggest otherwise! Though his hair has turned grey, he still holds the same vibrant ideas he possessed fresh out of college. The only difference is that now, he recounts tales of his own college days.

Mamu Miyan’s attire is always neat and clean. Whether his clothes are pressed or not matters little to him; he believes that a person is defined not by their appearance, but by their ideas. On his head, one might find a cap, a handkerchief, or nothing at all. Whenever he leaves the house, he invariably checks his pockets—finding an old handkerchief in one, and perhaps some other miscellaneous items in the others—things he himself is often unaware of carrying.

His greatest strength is his ability to converse on any subject. Whether it is politics, economics, education, health, or science—there is no field upon which Mamu Mian has not offered an opinion. It often leaves us wondering: why has no university yet sought to honor such a remarkable man?

One day, we asked, "Mamu Mian, where did you acquire all this knowledge?"

He replied, "My dear boy, true knowledge is not found in books."

We ventured, "But have you read these books?"

He remarked, "Reading books only reveals the thoughts of others; I prefer my own."

Having offered this analysis, he turned his attention to reading the headlines in a newspaper. The paper was held upside down, yet he saw no reason to correct it. When we pointed this out, he simply said, "I have a habit of reading things upside down or right-side up—it serves as a good workout for the brain."

Mamu Mian’s memory is also quite peculiar. He can recall, with perfect clarity, someone mentioning him over tea twenty years ago—yet, at the same time, he cannot seem to remember where he has misplaced his own spectacles. He never remembers his own promises; even if you remind him years later, it makes no difference.

Another one of his "qualities" is that he never admits to being wrong. If you point out a mistake, he claims he has already made a change. If you suggest omitting a name from a list, he insists that the name must be included to maintain the relationship. If he fails to grasp a point, he dismisses it as having no real substance.

To him, every failure is simply a new form of success. Once, he bought the wrong pair of shoes from the market. I remarked, "Uncle, these aren't even your size!"

He replied, "Don't you know? Loose-fitting shoes are the trend these days."

I countered, "But these are actually quite tight!"

He retorted, "Exactly—that’s to keep your feet under control!"

Uncle also has a great penchant for offering advice to others. From the moment he wakes up until the end of the day, he always has a piece of counsel ready. If someone arrives late, he delivers a lecture on punctuality; if someone wakes up early, he has something to say about how they should spend their time. If someone spends money, he condemns it as wasteful extravagance; if someone saves money, he complains that they aren't enjoying life.

His wife is well aware of these "qualities." She often remarks that there are only two sensible people in the house: herself, and the other person who listens to her. Uncle never dwells on this, as he has mastered the art of maintaining peace in the household.

He is held in a particular kind of regard within the neighborhood. Some people talk about him, others try to avoid him, and there are those who simply listen to him—knowing full well that it is impossible to interrupt him once he gets going.

He has a very distinct style of conversation. They begin with a long preamble, then move to the core point, and by the time they finish, the listener—who had already grasped the matter—is left wondering why it even needed "confirmation."

They often remark:

"We already knew; we were just seeking confirmation!"

Such a statement makes one question the very purpose of your interaction—leaving one to wonder if any "confirmation" actually took place at all.

In any case, Mamu Miyan is no ordinary man; he possesses both virtues and flaws, and while he has intelligence, there are times when he seems to lack it entirely. He considers himself the wisest person in the world—though the rest of the world, regarding this particular matter...